From the Desk of: Heather Festivus, The Holiday Elf: Merry Christmachanuramakwanzaakah!

Merry Christmachanuramakwanzaakah!

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender and sentient being neutral winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of your religious/secular/cultural choice, but with respect and deference for the religious/secular/cultural choices of others who choose to practice their own religious/secular/cultural choice as well as those who choose to practice none at all.

Additionally, we at the North Pole would like to extend a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the secularly accepted calendar year 2007* (In which case, all apologies are extended for those that receive this glad tiding somewhat belated**. And it must be said that such lateness in no way implies or infers or otherwise diminishes the wish nor does it carry any more general good feeling to those receiving the wish early or on time.)

But not without due respect for the calendars in existance of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our world great, without regard to race, creed, color, religious or sexual preferences of the wishers.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for themselves or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional distress such greetings may bring to those not otherwise caught up in the spirit.

*The term "calendar" only refers to the generally accepted rendering currently citing 2006.

** To recipients recognizing the passage of time by different but equally valid calendars, the term "belated" is in no way meant to diminish the relevance of such.

Just a little something I wrote for everyone! Enjoy & have a safe holiday!